


04.23

by royalxunqi



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Birthday Party, Black on Black, Cuddles, Fluff, Gen, NCT 2018, NCT 2019, Performances, and, but he is more than that, healing trip, i honestly don't know anymore, jeno feels like hes not enough, leaders, nct did something, talks, with 21 members
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 15:51:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18449753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/royalxunqi/pseuds/royalxunqi
Summary: Jeno has always been perceived by the fans as someone who is a perfectionist when it comes to performing but a single incident made Jeno doubt what he can do..... and of course as family, NCT did everything to bring the smiling prince back.





	04.23

04.21.19

NCT just finished their large-scale performance of Black on Black at the Dream Concert with 21 members, like what happened last year when they were 18 members, NCT had number of slips on stage again. It was as if it always rain during the Dream Concert, but what can the members and fans do?

Jungwoo fell during touch but was quick to redeem himself, Jisung almost slipped when it was his part on the center -- good thing one of the hyungs was able to hold him and he got to his place without any problem. Haechan and Johnny didn't have any problems during their spin and thankfully they were able to give an astounding performance.

The fans have been tweeting and posting their messages to the boys for giving a performance despite of the bad weather. They also gave encouragements to those who had slipped while performing, saying that no one is perfect and it is inevitable since the stage was wet and slippery. The boys, although tired and in pain, waved at the fans for the last time before getting inside the bus that will take them home. 

The whole trip was quiet considering how everyone went to their respective seats and slept. Taeyong can heart the faint murmur of Johnny and Mark talking in English, Jaehyun and Jaemin at the back probably talking about their promotions, Doyoung who is speaking softly which he thinks is for their YouTube channel. He opened his phone and went to log his twitter account -- which is a stan account hiding in the many accounts for NCT members. 

He scrolled and read the tweets about their performances, praising them for remaining professionals, the fans also came up with #WeLoveYouNCT2019. Taeyong, being the leader of NCT is thankful for their fans and they owe them so much reaching their places now. 

Taeyong dozed off after making sure they are all in good conditions, counting a half hour before they reach the dorms. 

\--

"Hyung... wake up." Jisung, who is beside Taeyong gently tapped his hyung's cheeks. Taeyong stirred a little before opening his to see the boys getting off the bus. Jisung who is beside him opted to stay and wait for him. Noticing that the back part is already cleared, Taeyong and Jisung followed suit and got off too. Upon getting off the bus, Jisung went ahead and Taeyong was left to thank the driver. 

Inside the dreamies' dorm, Chenle rummaged in the kitchen for a food to eat but went back to the living room after finding out that there's none. 

"Hyung! There's no food left!" Chenle shouted. 

Someone knocked on their door, and Jaemin being the nearest one, opened the door revealing Mark. 

"Taeyong-hyung called for movie night!" He announced which caused the dorm to erupt in cheers.

Grabbing some pillows, blankets, and even plushies, Chenle and Jisung we're running to 127's dorms. 

Jaemin looked at Mark, "You saw that? Seems like they didn't had a hard time earlier." Jaemin said disbelieved. 

"Well, hyung knows a movie would be nice." Mark answered, looking over Jeno's direction.

"Come on, before they hogged all the good spots." Renjun nodded and walk towards the door, jaemin almost followed when Jeno spoke, making the three look at him.

"I don't think I'm up for some movie tonight." He started. Renjun looked at him, asking for an explanation.

"I just don't feel good now. You guys enjoy. Tell the hyungs not to worry much." Jeno smiled tiredly and walked towards his room.

"But you know they would nag so much..." Jaemin said.

"Just tell them I am sleepy. I don't want to burden them anymore, especially Taeyong-hyung." Jeno waved and went inside his room. 

Of course, Mark will never believe that lie. He's been with Jeno since trainee days and he knows when the younger boy is feeling upset and not. 

Shaking his head, the three of them made their way to 127's dorm. 

\--

The three arrived and saw their bandmates situated on the mattresses on the floor. A huge pile of 17 boys. Jaemin quickly sat beside jaehyun, Renjun joined the china line and Mark went to the kitchen where Taeyong and Doyoung are preparing the foods. Doyoung greeted him and looked at the living room.

"Where's Jeno?" Doyoung searched for his favorite dongsaeng. Taeyong looked at Mark, expecting an answer.

"Well... he said he is sleepy already." Mark answered.

"And?" 

Mark looked at the his two hyungs in front of him, and gulped. He actually don't know what to say since he does not know what's wrong with Jeno. 

"Relax, Mark. It's just us." Taeyong said, soothing Mark's hand. 

"He seems tired, and knowing Jeno. He would never miss a movie night." Mark stated 

Taeyong and Doyoung exchanged glances before Taeyong nodded. 

"Noted. Join the others now, Mark." Taeyong patted the young boy's back before releasing him to join the loud members in the living room. 

"Hyung, I think it's better if you talk to him." Doyoung said which Taeyong was not expecting.

"it's much better if you go first since you are the leader, and Jeno may not tell me what happened." Doyoung explained. 

"Ok. I'll make stop at the convenience store nearby. Ask them what they want, please." Taeyong told Doyoung. Doyoung nodded and went to te living room, minutes later, several preferences were given by the members. Kun decided to type them all and send it to Taeyong.

"I'll go buy some snacks first, Johnny take charge for a while." 

"Hyung! I've sent the list already." Kun said. Taeyong nodded and grabbed his jacket and went out. 

The members didn't asked more and continued watching the movie. Doyoung sat beside Haechan pulling the younger, Haechan, at first was surprised by Doyoung's actions but thought that everyone needs cuddles, too. He rested his head on Doyoung's chest as he focus on the movie. 

\--

Taeyong made a fast trip to the convenience store grabbing every snack listed on the message Kun had sent him, he also got Jeno's favorite snack, and mentally noted that he needs to go at the dreamies' dorm before going back to his own dorm. Proceeding to the counter, Taeyong saw a familiar figure holding a coffee, the guy is wearing glasses and a hoodie that saw a couple of times before during Vlives of their group. Looking closely, he tapped the stranger's shoulder and when the stranger turned around, he saw Jeno's face. 

"Jeno!" Taeyong said while hugging the boy, although taller than him, he sensed Jeno leaning as well. 

"Hi, hyung." Jeno pulled away and greeted him.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked sensing the boy's tired face. 

Jeno nodded and waited for Taeyong to finish paying for the snacks.

"Don't you want to join us?" Jeno politely declined. Taeyong didn't pushed it anymore and let the younger one do what he want. He nodded and told the younger that he'd walk him to their dorm, and jeno lets him. 

Upon reaching their dorm, Taeyong handed Jeno a separate bag of snacks containing Jeno's favorites. He also hugged the boy before closing the door. 

Walking slightly away from the door, he fished his phone and called his manager, asking if he could spare a minute to talk to him in person.

Taeyong went straight to the CEO's office where his manager and Lee Soo Man himself were waiting, Taeyong managed to relay all information he was able to gather and request for a small trip with all members. He then explains how he saw the stress coming to the members. The management listened closely and granted a 2 day vacation for NCT starting tomorrow. The meeting lasted for an hour and Ten had texted him that the maknaes are looking for him already. He told them to wait a bit more before he dashed to their dorm. 

Taeyong came back at the middle of the movie and his members are still awake, he handed the plastic full of snacks to Taeil who distributed it to the guys.

"Oh by the way, after the movie, pack your bags before sleeping." Taeyong said.

A series of whats, whys, ehs erupted inside and Taeyong can only calm them down.

"Well, I've talked to the management and asked for a vacation for all of us." He said, ruffling Jisung's hair who is near him.

"Until when?" Doyoung asked.

"Jeno's birthday. We'll celebrate it there." Taeyong said and he saw the dreamies cheer.

"Thank you, hyung. He badly needs a vacation..." Jaemin trailed as if he said something he shouldn't.

"Why?" Kun raised an eyebrow. His mother instinct is coming.

Jaemin looked at his bandmates and realized he has no way of letting the topic go, so he sat on the sofa before starting.

"I've noticed that Jeno's getting stressed too much because of his schedules... I mean he has way more schedules than us and he gets overwhelmed with all the responsibilities he has." Jaemin explained. His eyes landed on Doyoung who is teary-eyed and Taeyong who had a flustered look, they must be blaming themselves.

"But why didn't he came to us?" Jaehyun, who is stroking Jaemin's back asked.

"It will burden the hyungs more." Jaemin answered softly.

At this point, the movie is already paused and the members are reflecting on what they found out.

"It's a good thing Taeyong-hyung came up with the vacation." Mark said.

The boys were too tired to finish their movie and decided to wrap things up and return to their dorms.

Renjun went inside his and Jeno's room. 

"Jeno...." he called the boy who has his back facing him.

"Hmmm....." Jeno sat on the bed, wiping his eyes.

"Hyung said to pack clothes and other things. We're leaving tomorrow." Jaemin who had just entered said. 

Jeno walked towards his cabinet and took out some clothes, placed it in his backpack, and went back to sleeping.

"Set the alarm please." He said before drifting to dreamland. 

\--  
04.22.19

The alarm rang loudly at 5:30 am

Yuta had barged in the dorm of dream together with Johnny, fixing the things of the kids.

Jeno is the first one to emerged from the room wearing his bag already, followed by Renjun. 

Yuta greeted them while Johnny went to Jisung and Chenle's room to see the duo all dressed up. 

After some checking of things incase they've forgotten to pack something, the boys made their way outside where their ride is waiting.

 

The boys gathered at the front building where the NCT bus is -- the NCT cover is already gone and was replaced by a beige color so fans wouldn't notice its them,

Jeno settled in the seat beside his Doyoung hyung. When Jaemin was walking he saw his bestfriend sleeping already, the rest of 00 line planned to do some games at the back but seeing one of them knocked down already, they decided to not push it. Jaemin sat at the back between Haechan and Yangyang. 

Taeyong came in last and sat on the available seat beside Chenle. 

"Everyone okay?" He shouted.

It was as if NCT's a choir as they answer their leader. 

It's going to be a long trip but hopefully it will be fun.

The trip lasted for three hours, with the Dreamies singing wherever they are seated, Jeno joining. A series of relay games for all of them, and the rest stops that were chaotic but was handled by the hyungs well. 

The boys arrived at a private resort owned by SM Entertainment and Taeyong gave the room assignments with a twist, they settled in the living room first. 

"There are only 4 rooms, three rooms will have 5 in them while the other while have 6." Taeyong announced. 

"How will the rooms be determined?" Sicheng asked. 

"We have this box though.." Jungwoo added.

"And it has our names inside." Taeyong grinned.

"Okay! I'll draw the first name." Taeyong said.

"Ten!" Ten plafully rolled his eyes before drawing the next name,

"Who is this... Oh! Johnny-hyung!" 

"Next is Hendery!" 

"Wait... Haechan hasn't been picked yet." Yuta teased Ten

"I swear Yuta-hyung!" Haechan started to bite back

"Damn Yuta! I've picked Haechan!" Surprised Ten can't even laugh, the maknaes started laughing with Chenle's dolphin scream echoing.

"Okay the last is Lucas!" 

Ten picked the next name for the second room and it was Jaehyun.

"I'm going!!" 

"Sicheng!" 

"Man! Jae please pick me now." 

"Shut up, Yuta-hyung!" 

"Make me!" 

"Chenle is in our room!!" Chenle jumped and threw himself to Sicheng

"Jungwoo!" 

"And Taeil-hyung!" 

The cycle went on until rooms have been filled. 

Room 3: Kun, Renjun, Mark, Yangyang, Yuta, 

Room 4: Jaemin, Doyoung, Taeyong, Jisung, Jeno, Xiaojun

\---

The members went to the restaurant where a feast is prepared already. 

They ate, laughed, and shared stories with each other, happy with the small present the company had given them but all of them expect for Jeno knows this is not the end. 

The maknaes together with Lucas, Xiaojun, and Hendery went to swim in the pool. While the rest of the members planned for Jeno's birthday surprise. 

"We have to list down the stuff we need so we can buy them now." Kun started.

"Can we borrow one of the staffs' car?" Taeil asked their manager who is with them. Manager nodded.

"That's settled then, what do we need?" Taeyong asked as he scribble on the paper.

"Well... balloons, a lot of them." Ten said. 

"The balloons that are letters!" Sicheng added.

"Also some party poppers."

"The cake too hyung!" 

"That's given already, what else?" 

"I don't know now, but please buy some ingredients too." Johnny chirped in.

"We'll have some barbecue, and ice creams?" Taeyong still listing

"Yeah. Add some doughnuts too hyung." Jungwoo requested. 

Taeyong nodded and looked at the boys,

"So who's going to get the groceries?" He asked

"I volunteer!" Kun said.

"Count me in!!" Yuta excitedly said. 

"I have to record this." Johnny announced.

"Okay. The others will arrange the room with me. And some can swim with them, whichever you want." Taeyong smiled.

The manager guided the three to the car and will join them to the nearby mall. 

The others joined the maknaes, Taeyong had to arrange the biggest room where they will gather for Jeno's birthday. 

\---

Hours later, the members are gathered outside for dinner, the grocery team had arrived and joined them in eating. 

Xiaojun and Hendery helped in throwing the trash, Mark and Haechan in fixing the place together with Jeno and Yangyang.  
Taeil, Ten, Doyoung had ran to the biggest room and helped Kun in arranging Jeno's party that will happen tomorrow morning. They've finished hanging the fairy lights while Jaehyun and Jaemin together with Chenle are sprawled on the floor designing the long banner for Jeno. Jisung on the other hand is busy inflating the balloons with Ten, talking about dancing to one of Jeno's favorite song. 

The boys kept themselves busy while shuffled songs of NCT blasted. They made sure the door is locked so Jeno wouldn't see their surprise, they also created a separate group chat without him for this. 

After the tiring day, Jeno found himself at the balcony, seating on the chair as he stares into space. 

The past months have been exhausting yet he managed to overcome them

He closes his eyes and opened them to stare at the sky. He has a long way to go. 

"So what's next?" Doyoung walked with Taeyong as they talk among themselves when they caught sight of Jeno in the balcony, all by himself. 

"That's Jeno, right?" Doyoung asked Taeyong. The walked towards the boy and found him staring at the sky.

"Hey." Both of them greeted the young boy. Jeno, flustered by their sudden appearance, managed to smile at his hyungs as he greeted them.

"Hi, hyungs." He hugged both hyungs as they sat beside him.

"No more running now." Taeyong started. Doyoung looked at Taeyong, asking if he would really question the boy now.

"We've been worried, baby. All of us." Taeyong added stroking Jeno's hair. 

"Jeno, you got to tell us what's happening. You're slowly drifting from us." Doyoung said softly, staring at the younger boy's eyes with so much adoration. 

Jeno heaved a sigh and landed his eyes on his feet, 

"I just didn't want to burden anyone, especially hyungs." 

Taeyong is lost for words, Doyoung closed his eyes........ it's been months and they didn't noticed the signs. 

"You know how you guys will never be a burden to me. Regardless of what unit you're in, you will always be NCT." Taeyong held his hand, while Doyoung held the other one. 

"I'm just overwhelmed with everything..... I knew I was gonna replace Mark-hyung as the leader once he graduate. At first, I was ecstatic when they told me about it, but I felt like I wasn't really capable enough to hold such responsibility like what Mark-hyung has done for us." Jeno explained, tears pooling. 

"You didn't told me you were feeling that way." A voice spoke.

"You could've told me, I'm willing to help you, you know that." Mark, who heard Jeno's confession said.

"I didn't want to make you feel like it was a bad decision to choose me as a leader, it was just my insecurities eating me up." Jeno mumbled. 

Mark gently stroked his Jeno's hair before pulling a seat beside Doyoung. 

"I admit that everything happened to fast. I am happy that Dream finally made appearances all over the world, you know, We went to the Philippines, to Malaysia, to Indonesia, everywhere. But I guess everything became too much for me, I had The Show and JSMR to do; not that I didn't want to do them, I just hope they took into consideration the other members and gave them the same attention." Jeno explained while tears fall. Doyoung who is listening also found himself crying. Taeyong wiped Jeno's tears as the fall continuously. 

"I know its absurd but hyungs, I get tired sometimes too." 

Out of the four of them, Mark knows how hard it was, being in three units, juggling his time in between practices and MC-ing. He understands where Jeno is coming from, He saw how the young boy work with his JSMR videos, MC-ing for The Show, and ultimately, wearing the shoes Mark wore for three years. The management chose Jeno to be the next leader because they saw the potential in him; how he handles the Dreamies whenever Mark is not around, how he would start the group introductions in interviews and videos, and how he puts other people before him. 

Mark knows Jeno is a selfless guy. 

"Jeno, you have to tell us when you feel tired, not everyone has the same energy, Mark can manage to be in three units but it doesn't mean anyone of us can too." Doyoung said, handing the handkerchief to Jeno.

"I know you are more than enough than those who say you aren't. I know you've probably saw the tweets about how you slipped during the performance, or how unfair it is that you get to have more activities than the rest of the members." 

"It's not healthy to dwell on what people think about you, or if they are mad at you, because we aren't. What's important is that you do what makes you happy, you do what you think is good without hurting the feelings of other people." Taeyong pulled the boy closer,

"No one's mad at you for being Dream's leader, the boys know how hard it is for you, and they help you with it, right?" Jeno nodded. 

"No one's mad at you for the schedules you get instead they make sure you're being taken care of whenever you get home." Jeno clearly remember that one time he was so exhausted, and when he got home, Jisung wanted to play with him but immediately said he has other plans so he could rest, that night he was a ll cuddled up with the maknae. It was a simple act of love that Jisung did to ease his hyung's fatigue.

"Everyone's proud of you for trying; trying to be the best leader Dream can have after Mark, we are proud of you for being the MC we never thought you could be considering how awfully shy you can get. We're more than proud to see you reaching the extent of your capabilities, and learn more about yourself, and to see you happy and content makes us happy, too." Doyoung added.

"Things aren't going to be easy as what most of us think they would be but what are brothers for? you have 20 hyungs and dongsaengs to run to whenever you feel sad or when you just want to casually talk about the moon or aliens that Renjun loves so much. You don't have to cut ties with us just because you think you would be a burden.. That's not how family treat each other." Mark continued.

"You have us, Jeno. You can always cry, laugh, eat, even play games with us." Taeyong said as he rubbed the back of the youngest who is crying so much. 

That night, Jeno went to sleep beside Mark. He remembers their words, and promised himself to never let a single negative thought win over him. 

\---

Jeno woke up to the smell of coffee, he got up from bed and saw his roommates gone except for Xiaojun.

"Good morning, Jeno!" Xiaojun greeted him with a hug in which he returned.

"Thanks, hyung. Where are the others?" He asked, Xiaojun pointed towards the door, 

"Probably outside, I woke up minutes before you though." 

The pair made their way outside and as they open the door, Jisung came into view holding a box of doughnuts -- specifically Glazed, Jeno's favorite. 

As Jeno held the box, Jaemin popped the popper causing the confetti to fall. 

"Happy Birthday, Jeno!!" There stood some of his members, his hyungs not in sight. 

Without any warning, Hendery pushed Jeno into the entrance of one room, with the Dreamies and Xiaojun trailing behind.

"Push." Renjun ordered.

Jeno raised his eyebrow at the Chinese boy before holding the doorknob

He gently opened the door contrary to what Renjun said, and was startled by the cheers of the people inside, Renjun finally pushed him to be inside the room as they follow him. 

Kun grabbed his arms and led him to the center where a chair is waiting, He sat on the chair as the members shuffle around the room, 

Jisung and Ten went in front and performed Baby Don't Stop, like what Jeno and Jisung did during Ten's birthday,

A performance by JaeIlYoung, Taeil's legendary song.

Hyungs together with Lucas danced We Young with a twist -- doing aegyo.

And many more peformances, until it reached the main event, 

Jaemin came with the cake, and when Jeno finished wishing and had blew the candle, the maknaes were quicky to wipe icing on Jeno's face. 

Taeyong calmed everyone, and told Jeno to sit again as the event is not finished yet, 

Doyoung went to the center, holding the microphone as he open the paper,

"Jeno, You've been a really wonderful child, and everyone is lucky to have met you. I am more than grateful because I am one of the people who saw you grow up to be the gentleman you are now. As I look back on how you were years ago, the only thing I can think of is that, this kid has a bright future ahead of him. I know how passionate you are in reaching your heart's desires and still making time for other people. You are sweet, you take care of everyone even when no one is watching, and you love everyone in your own way. The past months may not be as good as what you wanted them to be, but I hope it has taught you many lessons you will be using in the future. I'm excited to see more of you, and what you can do as we continue to be the individuals we ought to be. Happy 19th birthday!" 

Mark is next,

"You've been a great leader, and I know you can do more. The moment the management decided that you would be the next one, I'm at ease already knowing the Dreamies will be in good state. The way you handle them is pretty amazing, and I know you would often doubt yourself, you'd get nervous receiving awards, and having to deliver your message to hundreds or even thousands of fans, but I believe in you, and I know you'll do well, Happy Birthday, Jeno!" 

Jisung spoke after Mark, 

"Hyung, thank you for always guiding me and being there for me. You'd play with me whenever I want to play with someone, we'd do random cover of dances, sometimes we'd just wrestle in the practice room, and I couldn't be more thankful because you are always looking out for us -- especially to me and Chenle. Even though we both hate skinship and aegyos, you'd be the first one to act silly and hug me just to make sure I am happy after a long day of practice, thank you for everything you've done for us, Jeno-hyung. Happy Birthday!"

A series of birthday messages continued until the last member delivered his message, with a bunch of tears and tissues being passed all over the room, to the laughters of the members, it was surely a chaotic situation but with the best people, and Jeno couldn't ask for more. 

He has a long way to go but with his hyungs and dongsaengs with him, he conquer everything. 

\---------

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: hi! this is to celebrate Jeno's 19th birthday. Not proofread though so sorry for some typos! 
> 
> Happy Birthday, baby! You've been one of the biggest inspiration I have in my life and it's been an amazing opportunity to be your fan. I hope you all the happiness and wishing to see you real soon! I may not have the chance to see you months ago, I know time will come and we'll see each other. I love you so, so much, Jeno! 
> 
> tweet me: harriesoph


End file.
